Leisure is dangerous to your health

You know the dance. You know the part where the zombies are all hunched over holding their knees and walking away? That is Bing this weekend.

He hurt himself whilst lifting a hotdog.
Yep.

You may recall that in my last post, my sweet obsessive husband made us all go to WalMart on a Saturday to procure a grill for the boat. Well, he found the perfect one and expertly fastened it onto a very nice piece of shelving that fits across the bow seats and can be stored under the boat. To his credit, it is very well done and a great addition.
But then he decided to use it without supervision. On his SECOND day of leisure boating ( we've had unseasonably wonderful weather since school started...go figure), he was grilling some weenies for his buddies. As he reached down to grab one of said weenies, the sheer athleticism of the Olympic feat proved too much and he pulled something in his back. He continued to have a good time with a minor pain in his back.
However, when he got home, he had become one of the Thriller dancers. Actually, he was lucky to even get the dance position...I caught him crawling to the toilet last night. So sad!!! Needless to say, he is now on the couch with Vicodin and muscle relaxers thanks to the ER doctor.

I now like to proclaim in mock pain...." Ow! My leisure!" It's a wonderful thing to say.

Caroline is cutting teeth again. Sooooo glad there aren't any flights any time soon. We are going to a b-day party though. I think she'll be up for that though. She loves some action.

Well, I'm off. Don't mix leisure with weenies.

To Bee or Not to Bee

First, I must tell you about the greatest cereal ever. Post Trail Mix Crunch. Oh, how I love you, Mr. Post for creating such deliciousness.

Caroline had daycare this week. She LOVED it!!!! It was sooo cute. She was so happy to go back the next day ( she's only doing Thursdays and Fridays). The girls up there are so sweet and it's not just a daycare....they are trained preschhol teachers and do a lot of develpmental stuff. We are so happy with it. And the best part is that you can tell that Caroline really has a good time there!! She is so content and happy when we pick her up. It just warms me heart.

School os going fine. I always miss my old kids so much this time of year though. Several have come by to visit...it's amazing how quickly they grow up over the summer.

Not much going on this weekend. Just gonna relax. And go to Wal-MArt which is the opposite of relaxing. But Bing wants a mini-gas grill. He took the boat out yesterday all by himslef and had an incredible day of sunning and just relaxing on the lake. He has now decided ( which leads to obsession) that he needs a boat grill because " we gotta grill weenies on the boat!". The world will not spin just right until he gets his weenie grill. So, off to Wal Mart on a Saturday we go.

I really want an apiary. And one of those outfits of course. I could plant all sorts of delcious flowers around the hive for my sweet bees. I can;t wait to get some land one day. I don't think I'll have time to work cuz taking care of my bees, goats, cow, donkey, dogs, rabbit, chickens, rooster, cabybara, and Caroline will be a full time job. Guess I need ot start buying lottery tickets.

Here is me in 10 years.

baby + rabbit= always cute

Yes, I know. It's ridiculous. Both the cuteness quotient and the immensity that is Astronaut Jones. They love each other. SOoooooooooo cute.

I'm so glad Gustav wasn;t as bad as it was gonna be. Moma said that Monroe was getting hammered...they haven't had power since yesterday. All the Energy people went down South to be there to help out..now North La is being inundated. But they're all fine. They even cancelled school today and tomorrow.

School started today. I always miss my old students so much the first day of a school year. I always think " these kids won't be as much fun"....but of course, I get attached to them after a while ( some take more time than others ;) )
I always start off with this activity where the kids answer questions about me using stuff they've heard or from what they have observed of the classroom. One of the questions I always ask is " Do you think Mrs. Smith will be a hard teacher? WHy or why not?"
I usually get stuff like " No...she seems too nice" or " Yes but she will be nice about it"...things like that. But a kid named Izzy said this today-
" yes, I think you're gonna be hard."
Why?
And with a sweet seriousness he replied...." Cuz I can't understand the way you talk...."
Haha.....I told them they would be picking up my accent in less than a week. happens every year.
Hope y'all are dry and have power. And are not underneath a large oak tree. And by underneath, I mean supporting.

That belly ain't going nowhere.

I chose this picture to share with you for three reasons:
1) Is is strangely wonderful.
2) I feel like that little kid with school starting. School being an obese but oddly athletic adversary wearing diapers and a simultaneously apathetic and piteous look upon its face.
3) Caroline has started a sumo phase.
Now you're probaly thinking...oh, I get it...fat baby...sumo. Caroline is anything but fat...remember she is a teeny lil thing. But she is working that belly. And she has started this "Ay!!"...you know the sharp Japenese "ayyy!". She does it over and over again at full attention. She thinks it's real funny. And she is correct.

No day care this week! I got confused...it opens next week. Bing's Uncle Brockett passed away this week from liver cancer so Bing flew out for the funeral ( everybody is doing well). SO, since there was no daycare and I had to go to Teacher Nonsense Day, I had to get a babysitter for a 8 hour stretch. We were so nervous....we have used two of my 8th graders for short stints before but never for this long. It went great though! Caroline worked that poor girl to death. Play,play,play!!! Alllllll day! No naps for her! Ha! She knew she had a sucker on the line.

Thankfully, i don't have to go in tomorrow and have Labor Day off...then the onslaught begins.

Bing said he heard one of the best things ever today, driving down to the wake with his mom one of his uncles. As they're driving through Virginia, his uncle exclaims..." Oh look! A subdivision with mobile homes." It was quite new to him...the nuance of a trailer park. Yes, what a striking idea. What rare breed thought of that assemblage?

I feel like there was something else I was gonna tell you.
Oh well...for another day I suppose.

Good night!

Last day of freedom

Ugghhh. Back to school tomorrow. Not for students, but for teacher training. Uggggghhhh. Remember the teacher from Charlie Brown? That's all I hear at those meetings. Seriously. Teachers. Funny thing is that I have a 2 hour presentaion/training that I have to do tomorrow. The deaf leading the Charlie Brown teachers. Haha. But at least I'm incorporating Lynard Skynard into my lesson. Seriously.
If they're gonna make me teach for 2 hours to a bunch of teachers, I'm gonna turn it up, man.

Bing is so nervous about Caroline starting daycare Thursday. It's cute. It's a GREAT daycare run by teachers for teachers ( the preschool kind, the cute, high pitched ones). He is just nervous.

not much going on. Just thought I would check in.
Things learned today:
Babies love harmonicas.
Biscuits are infinitely delicious.
Women wallets are hard to find.
Adios.

raawwwwrrrrrr!!!

Caroline has started a new thing where she growls real loud then bites Popa on the nose. At first, she was coy about it and cute. Then the tigress came out and we couldn't tell if she was mad or really getting into to playing " bite the nose as hard as you can". We decided we shouldn't egg this game on since she starts daycare next week. I feel sure Caroline doesn't want to be the Bitin' Kid. ;) So.....that game is over. Rawwwwwwr! Crunch!
Moma and Pop just left last night. It was a great visit. I always get so sad when they leave though.Count your blessings if you live near your family...seeing them 3-4 times a year is not the best. They had a great time seeing Miss Thang and of course she was hamming it up, literally and figuratively. Apparently, Caroline's wet diaper smells like ham. Moma kept smelling ham from time to time and figured out it was Caroline. Now, she said she would get lovesick for Caroline every time she smelled ham. Hahaha. yes, the apple ( being me) does not fall far from the crazy tree ( being Moma). ;) But it is true. Caroline is a little hambone.
Pop went on a ride along with Bing...his yearly highlight of the trip up here. It was a really slow night and they didn't get into anything till a stabbing at the end. it was funy to hear Pop tell the story....of course, Bing saved the day. :) And apparently, Pop made a friend of a smoking, wandering crackhead. Making friends meaning Pop glared at a crackhead and begrudgingly gave up one of his cigarettes upon asked. This just after Bing had let the guy off with a warning ( he had been wandering in and out of traffic). Upon sharing the cigarrette and the glare...the crackhead started screaming " Whatchu lookin' at? Whatch lookin' at? WHATCHU LOOKIN' AT???". Pop then rolled his eyes and walked back to the car. HHAHAHAHAA...I would have loved to have seen that. For those of you who don't know my father...I can assure you this was a very entertaining scene to behold.
We took the boat out the last day. Of course, the temp dropped about 15 degrees as soon as we got out on the lake. Then the monsoon began. Oh, how I love the weather out here. Poor Moma and POp were troopers though. me and Moma just laughed hysterically on the way back in, getting more and more drenched. Pop said that for next summer's boat trip he would be sure to bring his waders, and neoprene survival suit.

I guess the time has come for me to start getting school stuff ready. We start teacher meetings Tuesday. Arrrggh...more mindless drivel that goes on and on and on.

Well, Margaret actually called me. Finally. She was offended at my story about her peeing in the Mazda. She said she would have never had peed in a Mazda. It was a Nissan. I stand corrected.

I bid you adieu, farewell.... good nigthy night.

A Day of Urine and Atonement

The people of Seattle are still sweating.

So, my blog will focus on the wonderful and sometimes inconvenient properties of our dear friend, urine.

Now, before I started to write this blog, I did look up some synonyms of urine. But I got sidetracked on a wonderful etymology website that focused on children;s words for pee and poop. That's right. Other people are thinking about these things too. You know what's great? Sooooo many different languages all around the world call urine "pee pee" and poop " caca" and "poo-poo". All of them spelled a bit differently..but basically the same. Isn't that funny? It's not like they make those sounds when coming out. You would think their would be more names like " pzzzzz", " whissssshhh", "plop" and " doi-ink".

I did not find anyone else that calls their grandmother PP, though. That is unique to the Becton girls.

Back to urine. Yet another reason I am so glad Caroline is a pretty baby girl. If I had more misfires to clean, I don't know what I would do with myself. now, you know my Bingbear is the best man in the world. But the man cannot hit the toilet to save his life. Really, how hard is it? This has been an ongoing joke in the house for years, he simply laughs it off. Now, you're thinking " Poor man! He works all night...protecting the streets from villains and has to come home to the old battle axe fussing about peepee!" Good point mind you, but the man outshoots everybody at the range. And the hole in the toilet is much bigger than the the center of the bullseye. Perhaps there is a constant southeasterly breeze in each of our bathrooms.

Upon writing this, my lovely daughter just woke up all smiles and giggles with about 2.3 gallons of pee in her diaper. Now, again, I ask you...how does this happen? The child is only about 2.5 gallons big. What a cute little pee bucket. I love that little girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( and I love my sweet Pee Freighter too, Popa Bear!!!)

So, one more pee story. I do apologize of this is horrible and offensive reading. Wait, no I don't. Pee is very important and must be talked about for society to progress. Poo too , as goes without saying. Don't even get me started on pooh. The San Diego zoo recycles TONS of herbivore pooh every week into fertilizer. You can even call 1-800-i-luv-doo for pooh fertilizer from zoos across the nation. Really, that's the real phone number.

Ok....my story. If you read the last post, you will remember that I will continue to write embarrassing stories about my sister till she actually calls me back. You can only guess it will be about urine. And you are right.

Now, we Becton girls love life and love laughing. We often love life and laugh so hard that we pee our pants. Inconvenient, yes. Shameful, no. At least to us. It's more like a badge of honor. We must have really been having fun to pee our pants.

Well, when Grit was about 15, she and her buddy decide to skip class. They go out to the car and get real tickled about something and end up both peeing their pants. They could not get out of the car in time, and the seats were rendered full. Well, her friend, who is not the sharpest tool in the shed, suggested they go to the car wash and wash out the car. Now, Grit is a strange mix of genius-like cleverness and something else that can't quite be defined. But is quite the opposite of her clever side. So they go to the car wash in the middle of November and wash out the inside of her Mazda, all the time her friend assuring her it would dry out quickly. I mean suds, and brushes, and the high pressure hose and everything. After all this WAS a car wash.. Now, it being late fall, it had begun to get chilly. On the way home, the drenched interior began to form ice crystals on the inside of the windshield. So, they both stuck their heads out the window and drove home.

Since this happened in Louisiana, you will know that a cool late fall leads to a hot humid winter, Isn't that the way seasons are everywhere? In a few days, the urinesickles melted and gave way to a most foul, hot, mildewy stench that would be her copilot for the rest of her Mazda driving days. Her badge of honor had evolved into something quite unhonorable. Luckily, she is a brat and was soon awarded a brand new Jeep from our parents.

Now, I leave you with a pic of one of our dual Badge moments in Canada in a hotel room. You will see we had the best intentions, but alas there was only one toilet. So, we simply fell to the floor in fits of laughter and waves of pee. It was a proud moment for us both. A good night of living and loving life, indeed.