That belly ain't going nowhere.

I chose this picture to share with you for three reasons:
1) Is is strangely wonderful.
2) I feel like that little kid with school starting. School being an obese but oddly athletic adversary wearing diapers and a simultaneously apathetic and piteous look upon its face.
3) Caroline has started a sumo phase.
Now you're probaly thinking...oh, I get it...fat baby...sumo. Caroline is anything but fat...remember she is a teeny lil thing. But she is working that belly. And she has started this "Ay!!"...you know the sharp Japenese "ayyy!". She does it over and over again at full attention. She thinks it's real funny. And she is correct.

No day care this week! I got confused...it opens next week. Bing's Uncle Brockett passed away this week from liver cancer so Bing flew out for the funeral ( everybody is doing well). SO, since there was no daycare and I had to go to Teacher Nonsense Day, I had to get a babysitter for a 8 hour stretch. We were so nervous....we have used two of my 8th graders for short stints before but never for this long. It went great though! Caroline worked that poor girl to death. Play,play,play!!! Alllllll day! No naps for her! Ha! She knew she had a sucker on the line.

Thankfully, i don't have to go in tomorrow and have Labor Day off...then the onslaught begins.

Bing said he heard one of the best things ever today, driving down to the wake with his mom one of his uncles. As they're driving through Virginia, his uncle exclaims..." Oh look! A subdivision with mobile homes." It was quite new to him...the nuance of a trailer park. Yes, what a striking idea. What rare breed thought of that assemblage?

I feel like there was something else I was gonna tell you.
Oh well...for another day I suppose.

Good night!

Last day of freedom

Ugghhh. Back to school tomorrow. Not for students, but for teacher training. Uggggghhhh. Remember the teacher from Charlie Brown? That's all I hear at those meetings. Seriously. Teachers. Funny thing is that I have a 2 hour presentaion/training that I have to do tomorrow. The deaf leading the Charlie Brown teachers. Haha. But at least I'm incorporating Lynard Skynard into my lesson. Seriously.
If they're gonna make me teach for 2 hours to a bunch of teachers, I'm gonna turn it up, man.

Bing is so nervous about Caroline starting daycare Thursday. It's cute. It's a GREAT daycare run by teachers for teachers ( the preschool kind, the cute, high pitched ones). He is just nervous.

not much going on. Just thought I would check in.
Things learned today:
Babies love harmonicas.
Biscuits are infinitely delicious.
Women wallets are hard to find.
Adios.

raawwwwrrrrrr!!!

Caroline has started a new thing where she growls real loud then bites Popa on the nose. At first, she was coy about it and cute. Then the tigress came out and we couldn't tell if she was mad or really getting into to playing " bite the nose as hard as you can". We decided we shouldn't egg this game on since she starts daycare next week. I feel sure Caroline doesn't want to be the Bitin' Kid. ;) So.....that game is over. Rawwwwwwr! Crunch!
Moma and Pop just left last night. It was a great visit. I always get so sad when they leave though.Count your blessings if you live near your family...seeing them 3-4 times a year is not the best. They had a great time seeing Miss Thang and of course she was hamming it up, literally and figuratively. Apparently, Caroline's wet diaper smells like ham. Moma kept smelling ham from time to time and figured out it was Caroline. Now, she said she would get lovesick for Caroline every time she smelled ham. Hahaha. yes, the apple ( being me) does not fall far from the crazy tree ( being Moma). ;) But it is true. Caroline is a little hambone.
Pop went on a ride along with Bing...his yearly highlight of the trip up here. It was a really slow night and they didn't get into anything till a stabbing at the end. it was funy to hear Pop tell the story....of course, Bing saved the day. :) And apparently, Pop made a friend of a smoking, wandering crackhead. Making friends meaning Pop glared at a crackhead and begrudgingly gave up one of his cigarettes upon asked. This just after Bing had let the guy off with a warning ( he had been wandering in and out of traffic). Upon sharing the cigarrette and the glare...the crackhead started screaming " Whatchu lookin' at? Whatch lookin' at? WHATCHU LOOKIN' AT???". Pop then rolled his eyes and walked back to the car. HHAHAHAHAA...I would have loved to have seen that. For those of you who don't know my father...I can assure you this was a very entertaining scene to behold.
We took the boat out the last day. Of course, the temp dropped about 15 degrees as soon as we got out on the lake. Then the monsoon began. Oh, how I love the weather out here. Poor Moma and POp were troopers though. me and Moma just laughed hysterically on the way back in, getting more and more drenched. Pop said that for next summer's boat trip he would be sure to bring his waders, and neoprene survival suit.

I guess the time has come for me to start getting school stuff ready. We start teacher meetings Tuesday. Arrrggh...more mindless drivel that goes on and on and on.

Well, Margaret actually called me. Finally. She was offended at my story about her peeing in the Mazda. She said she would have never had peed in a Mazda. It was a Nissan. I stand corrected.

I bid you adieu, farewell.... good nigthy night.

A Day of Urine and Atonement

The people of Seattle are still sweating.

So, my blog will focus on the wonderful and sometimes inconvenient properties of our dear friend, urine.

Now, before I started to write this blog, I did look up some synonyms of urine. But I got sidetracked on a wonderful etymology website that focused on children;s words for pee and poop. That's right. Other people are thinking about these things too. You know what's great? Sooooo many different languages all around the world call urine "pee pee" and poop " caca" and "poo-poo". All of them spelled a bit differently..but basically the same. Isn't that funny? It's not like they make those sounds when coming out. You would think their would be more names like " pzzzzz", " whissssshhh", "plop" and " doi-ink".

I did not find anyone else that calls their grandmother PP, though. That is unique to the Becton girls.

Back to urine. Yet another reason I am so glad Caroline is a pretty baby girl. If I had more misfires to clean, I don't know what I would do with myself. now, you know my Bingbear is the best man in the world. But the man cannot hit the toilet to save his life. Really, how hard is it? This has been an ongoing joke in the house for years, he simply laughs it off. Now, you're thinking " Poor man! He works all night...protecting the streets from villains and has to come home to the old battle axe fussing about peepee!" Good point mind you, but the man outshoots everybody at the range. And the hole in the toilet is much bigger than the the center of the bullseye. Perhaps there is a constant southeasterly breeze in each of our bathrooms.

Upon writing this, my lovely daughter just woke up all smiles and giggles with about 2.3 gallons of pee in her diaper. Now, again, I ask you...how does this happen? The child is only about 2.5 gallons big. What a cute little pee bucket. I love that little girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( and I love my sweet Pee Freighter too, Popa Bear!!!)

So, one more pee story. I do apologize of this is horrible and offensive reading. Wait, no I don't. Pee is very important and must be talked about for society to progress. Poo too , as goes without saying. Don't even get me started on pooh. The San Diego zoo recycles TONS of herbivore pooh every week into fertilizer. You can even call 1-800-i-luv-doo for pooh fertilizer from zoos across the nation. Really, that's the real phone number.

Ok....my story. If you read the last post, you will remember that I will continue to write embarrassing stories about my sister till she actually calls me back. You can only guess it will be about urine. And you are right.

Now, we Becton girls love life and love laughing. We often love life and laugh so hard that we pee our pants. Inconvenient, yes. Shameful, no. At least to us. It's more like a badge of honor. We must have really been having fun to pee our pants.

Well, when Grit was about 15, she and her buddy decide to skip class. They go out to the car and get real tickled about something and end up both peeing their pants. They could not get out of the car in time, and the seats were rendered full. Well, her friend, who is not the sharpest tool in the shed, suggested they go to the car wash and wash out the car. Now, Grit is a strange mix of genius-like cleverness and something else that can't quite be defined. But is quite the opposite of her clever side. So they go to the car wash in the middle of November and wash out the inside of her Mazda, all the time her friend assuring her it would dry out quickly. I mean suds, and brushes, and the high pressure hose and everything. After all this WAS a car wash.. Now, it being late fall, it had begun to get chilly. On the way home, the drenched interior began to form ice crystals on the inside of the windshield. So, they both stuck their heads out the window and drove home.

Since this happened in Louisiana, you will know that a cool late fall leads to a hot humid winter, Isn't that the way seasons are everywhere? In a few days, the urinesickles melted and gave way to a most foul, hot, mildewy stench that would be her copilot for the rest of her Mazda driving days. Her badge of honor had evolved into something quite unhonorable. Luckily, she is a brat and was soon awarded a brand new Jeep from our parents.

Now, I leave you with a pic of one of our dual Badge moments in Canada in a hotel room. You will see we had the best intentions, but alas there was only one toilet. So, we simply fell to the floor in fits of laughter and waves of pee. It was a proud moment for us both. A good night of living and loving life, indeed.

3-D Porcelain. Who knew that's how you spell por-ce-lin?

Bob Ross is awesome. And awesome is an overused word, I know. But the man was and is awesome. Thank you for your happy little trees and happy little clouds.

Caroline has started panting. Now, you may think I'm talking about painting as I just mentioned Bob Ross. No...panting. Like a dog. She thinks it's hilarious. Just like Grandpa Boudreaux and Sister Bridger. Now, I'm just waiting for her to hop like Astronaut Jones.

Everbody is FREAKING out in Seattle because it's been in the 90's. It's the lead story everywhere. Nevermind Georgia, the Olympics.........PEOPLE ARE SWEATING IN SEATTLE. Oh, the humanity!

Moma and Pop are coming Monday! i'm so excited. I miss all them crazy folks down there so much. Yippee!!!

Bing got home late last night because somebody firebombed a car. I have an alibi...promise. ;)

I don't really have to much to say this morning. Just that it's a beautiful day and as Momette would say, " It's great to be alive."

I leave you with this:

It has been a hot debate in my parent's house for years and years. In the Orwellian year of 1984, Big Brother was NOT watching...and somebody wiped a booger on the bathtub. I knew it was Margaret. She, however, blamed it alternately on me and Pop....never pointing the finger at Moma. I still do not know why Moma was excluded from the booger blame game. Now, as you can imagine, I took great relish in letting Margaret know that I knew it was her. Staunch and stoic, she never gave in. Until this summer, when once again the Booger on the Bathtub of 1984 was brought up one last time and was finally laid to rest. Margaret accepted full responsibilty. The Booger was Hers.

This is the first of embarrassing stories of my lovely sister that I will share with you. Unless she wants to call me back or email me sometime. Really, it's pathological how badly this girl returns communications. Love you, Booger Wiper of 1984!!!!

Silly bed....and swim day

I woke up the other night because Caroline was raising a ruckus cuz she was hungry. I sleepily stumbled out of bed and right as I reached for the bedroom door, there's Bing just standing there looking at me like a crazy man, scaring me to death because I hadn;t even heard him get out of bed.

me: " What are you doing??"

Bing: " Did you hear it?

me: " What?"

Bing, getting slightly annoyed: " You didn't hear the bed?"

me, getting slightly amused: " What? What are talking about?"

Bing, more annoyed: " Oh, nevermind. The bed was talking about something."

Me, more amused. " What did it say?"

Bing, annoyed but giving in to my stupid question: " Something about getting organized."

Me: " Oh, I didn't hear it. Why don't you go back to bed."

Bing: " Ok, I Love you.".

Hahahahahahaha. That man cracks me up. He does the funniest stuff in his sleep. My favorite was when he woke me up because he had " made me a surprise...raisin bran casserole!" he was so sweet and proud of himself and so pleased to give it to me. Hahahahaha...what a sweetie.

Another Bing story...

Bing has taken on a new personality among his many others. Sister Mister.

Now this is a take on Mr. Mom cuz he is really great about baby duty and cleaning around the house. He was especially Mr. Mom-like when I was working. it was really cute. The Sister part came in due to a cleaning commercial that Bing saw when I was at work one day. It featured a lady octupus with all eight of her legs busily taking care of her baby and all her chores. After this industrious lady proclaimed that it was hard work being a mom- on-the-go..., Bing said " I feel ya , sister.". Thus, Sister Mister was born.

Well, Sister Mister was busily cleaning the kitchen the other night. I said " Baby, you don't have to do those dishes....I'll do them."

To which he replied. " oh, it's ok..i'm not really washing them." Happy as a clam to put away dishes with food still stuck on them. Hahaha.... the little booger. that's why I never let guests set the table..I never know what needs rewashing.

I love my Sister Mister. he is the best. He takes such good care of this little family. he ADORES his little Caroline. it is so funny to watch those two peas in a pod. Whenever he does something funny, she looks at me like " Did you see that, Moma????" it is soooo cute. I love you, Bing Bear.

Caroline update: Still getting cuter and cuter. What a hilarious little girl. She has started shaking her head real fast when she gets excited. So cute. Went swimming in the backyard the other day. She had a blast!

Granpa Boudreaux helped get her out of the pool into her "apres swimwear". Sweet Booboo!!

millions of peaches...peaches for me.

Naked baby covered in peaches. Is there anything orange & sticky that is any cuter? I think not.

Finally I'm back home!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had to go to San Diego for a teacher conference, which was somewhat worthwile but could have been done in an efficent 5.5 hours instead of 4 days. Teachers are extremely ineffecient when they all get together. A sample conversation:

Teacher 1: " Well, we should go with the blue folder."

Teacher 2: " What do you mean 'blue'? Would that denote some kind of sadness for the students?"

Teacher 3: " I got sad one time."

Teacher 2: " Sometime my pencil sharpener doesn't work."

Teacher 3: " So, blue it is. Freckles?"

Teacher 1: " No, pink would reinforce rigor with our students. Potbellied pigs don't have talons."

I'm not kidding you. Converstations like this droned on and on and on.

Teachers are very strange for the most part. I would hint that that strangeness was the bad kind, but I would not come out and say it for fear of lyching or even worse...being made to listen to more of their conversations.

Now, don't get me wrong...there are some outstanding educators out there. But that doesn't neccessarily mean that they act like normal people in the real world. Ugghhh. I'm glad to be home.I did get to go to the San Diego zoo though. It was really nice. I have always wanted to go there ever since I was little and Pop went there on a business trip and cam home raving about it. ALL of the monkeys reminded me of Caroline...every time I saw one, it made my heart hurt. I could actualy feel it cracking!! Everbody was represented at the zoo. I missed my little monkey ( caroline), bear ( Bing), wart hog ( Bridger- sorry, but it really looked like you, Bridger- it was very cute), tiger( Boudreaux) and capybara ( Jones).

By the way...I REALLY need a capybara. I mean, REALLY need.

Which I must add to my list. One day, we'll get a bit of land....I'm thinking 5 ares minimum.

We will have: countless dogs, one cat, one rabbit, one donkey, at least 3 goats named after English prime ministers, a jersey cow, one pig, a pond of various swimming creatures and a henhouse populated by a great big rooster named Ignacio and his harem of Afro chickens ( Crested Polish...they really exist.)Oh, and I will be needing both an aviary and an apiary. Both very seperate from each other in location.

Bing and Caroline survived quite well without me. Bing is such a good Popa. They are two peas in a pod. Soooooo cute. When Bing picked me up at the airport, Caroline was in the back chewing on some flowers she got me! they were both so excited to see me...it just melted my heart. It was late and Caroline was tired but she stayed up the whole way home laughing and playing with me ( I sat in the back, much to Bing's dismay/ cute "jealousy"). The dogs and Jones were happy to see me too but you could tell that Popa took real good care of everybody while I was gone.

Well, only 2 more weeks before school starts . The kids don;t come back till after Labor Day but I have to go in for " teacher training" Which means more endless conversations about "rigor"...the new favorite buzzword in education. " Students need more rigor." " there needs to be more rigor in the classroom". Needless to say, the infinite droning about rigor only leads to rigor mortis. Stupid rigor. Who even came up with that word?

Well, gotta go. It's raining outside ( BIG SURPRISE!), so I'm gonna get some Olympics in before Caroline wakes up. I love the Olympics. The opening ceremony was crazy though. It was tooooo long and too over the top. They spent millions of dollars trying to be so techno and even focused on an " one world, one environment" deal. It just seemed so hypocritical on the environmental stance and the humanatarian side too. I just kept thinking of all those poor earthquake victims and how just a little of that money and effort put into that opening cermony could have been steered their way. yeah, yeah...I know. I should get off my soap box. But I just thought it was tacky. Greece did it way better last round and spent millions less. But, the Parade of Nations was great as always. I love seeing all the atheletes from different parts of the world and how they are dressed.

Vaya con Dios, little chickies....

Rather than a dingo. Get it?

So.......I have been writing all my recipes down for quite some time now, which I am aware is a VERY old lady thing to do, but I assure you I have made it very snarky and somewhat innapropriate. I am coming upon the time that I will finally print " The Whole Damn Thing- A Cookbook". I have not only recipes but whole diatribes on how you should and could be "livin'" and "livin" well. I just thought it would be a fun thing to do and Caroline would enjoy having a copy one day.However, there is one part I feel I need a little help on. Wanna help?

I have a section on meal preparation and ambiance. I feel I might be a bit narrow on my music suggestions even though I am a genius. And I mean genius, folks. ;)

I would love your suggestions. Also, if you have a recipe you want in there with your name, let me know!!

Give me an artist, preferably an album, that would be good music for the following:

1. Uppity, fancier- than- you- really- are meals

2. Swanky, cooler- than- you-really-are meals

3. Urban, hipper-than-you-really-are

4. Romantic, let's-hurry-up- with-the-meal- meals

5. worldy, more-cultured- than-you-really-are meals

6. Outside, more-fun- than-you-really-are meals

7. Can't decide what kind of meal/ music for all occasions

p.s. Sorry, Moma that I said a cussword on my blog again. ( i.e. damn) She got onto me last time because I said butthole ( which to my defense, was the only word I could have used)and " something else..i just can't remember it." Apparently, it was so vile and offensive, she forgot it. Anyways she says this:

( read this in your sweetest Southern accent possible):

" Now, Jen-ferrrrrr....you need to act like a laaaaa-dy. Don't be saying those words on the Internet. Somebody might see that and think you're....well, think you're...... well, just don't say that stuff."

I love my sweet Moma...she's a funny lady. Here she is looking like she should be on the cover of a badly written book centering around the mysterious disappearance of her baby. " Alligator got my baby!"

I would rather Fly Agaric ;)

I write this encased in a organic funnel of buzzing evil. Well, there really not evil. Only roaches are evil...agents of Satan himself, I am sure of it. But these little beezelbugs called the House Fly are driving me insane. Every year about this time, we become to flies what Padre Island is to drunken Texan teenagers. You would think with the sunny warm weather we are having ( NOT!!), that these flies would go elsewhere. But no....they are here. And poor Caroline is looking like something off a " Feed The Children" ad. Which you really should do, you know.

Well, I am not one for mass killings but this has gotten out of control. Considering flies can carry up to 100 pathogens, I have erected a medievel gauntlet of fly paper and two fly swatters.

I must tell you, I tried other things first. Talking to them did not work. Even after reading the latest on fly pscyhology ( really...many a dissertation exists on fly thoughts), I have been reduced to pesti-cide. So sad. I originally started out with just a rolled up newspaper but apparerntly flies have a very evolved evasion technique and feel the air currents coming before you can get them...thus, the holes in the lethal yet brightly colored fly swatter.

Caroline's dr appt went smashingly. I just love our little doctor. he is so tiny and smiley.....much like a brunette version of the aspriring dentist elf from " Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer".

************* CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ooooooooohh!!! It's coming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!******

Anyway, the doc said she looked great! Which I know of course, but I always love to hear.

She is still a petite girl...only 14.2 pounds and 25 inches long. SHe is in the 5-10 percentile...which for those of you not in the know.....that means 90-95 % of babies are bigger than she is at this age. But....she is right on target for everything, small or not! She was really showing off her mad sitting skills to the doc. he was way impressed. She had her 3rd set of DTAP boosters and has been a little cranky since but is coming back to her regular self. The doc said we could start her on a sippy cup too!! what a big girl. But, she hasn't quite figured out how to do it yet and when she does, she gives a face like " Water??!! All that for Water??!!"

We sold the Colonel yesterday ( our new boat , The Sweet Caroline, is featured on another post). She went to a very happy family. We even decided they were happy enough to get the custom made bottle opener labeled " Colonel Mustard". As the new family began to drive off with their new boat, I saw Bing outside the window pat the Colonel on her stern and heard him wistfully say " You've been a good one, Colonel".

Colonel, may you receive as much love as you have given us. Bon voyage, Colonel Mustard....Bon Voyage.

The Colonel Mustard