A Day of Urine and Atonement

The people of Seattle are still sweating.

So, my blog will focus on the wonderful and sometimes inconvenient properties of our dear friend, urine.

Now, before I started to write this blog, I did look up some synonyms of urine. But I got sidetracked on a wonderful etymology website that focused on children;s words for pee and poop. That's right. Other people are thinking about these things too. You know what's great? Sooooo many different languages all around the world call urine "pee pee" and poop " caca" and "poo-poo". All of them spelled a bit differently..but basically the same. Isn't that funny? It's not like they make those sounds when coming out. You would think their would be more names like " pzzzzz", " whissssshhh", "plop" and " doi-ink".

I did not find anyone else that calls their grandmother PP, though. That is unique to the Becton girls.

Back to urine. Yet another reason I am so glad Caroline is a pretty baby girl. If I had more misfires to clean, I don't know what I would do with myself. now, you know my Bingbear is the best man in the world. But the man cannot hit the toilet to save his life. Really, how hard is it? This has been an ongoing joke in the house for years, he simply laughs it off. Now, you're thinking " Poor man! He works all night...protecting the streets from villains and has to come home to the old battle axe fussing about peepee!" Good point mind you, but the man outshoots everybody at the range. And the hole in the toilet is much bigger than the the center of the bullseye. Perhaps there is a constant southeasterly breeze in each of our bathrooms.

Upon writing this, my lovely daughter just woke up all smiles and giggles with about 2.3 gallons of pee in her diaper. Now, again, I ask you...how does this happen? The child is only about 2.5 gallons big. What a cute little pee bucket. I love that little girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( and I love my sweet Pee Freighter too, Popa Bear!!!)

So, one more pee story. I do apologize of this is horrible and offensive reading. Wait, no I don't. Pee is very important and must be talked about for society to progress. Poo too , as goes without saying. Don't even get me started on pooh. The San Diego zoo recycles TONS of herbivore pooh every week into fertilizer. You can even call 1-800-i-luv-doo for pooh fertilizer from zoos across the nation. Really, that's the real phone number.

Ok....my story. If you read the last post, you will remember that I will continue to write embarrassing stories about my sister till she actually calls me back. You can only guess it will be about urine. And you are right.

Now, we Becton girls love life and love laughing. We often love life and laugh so hard that we pee our pants. Inconvenient, yes. Shameful, no. At least to us. It's more like a badge of honor. We must have really been having fun to pee our pants.

Well, when Grit was about 15, she and her buddy decide to skip class. They go out to the car and get real tickled about something and end up both peeing their pants. They could not get out of the car in time, and the seats were rendered full. Well, her friend, who is not the sharpest tool in the shed, suggested they go to the car wash and wash out the car. Now, Grit is a strange mix of genius-like cleverness and something else that can't quite be defined. But is quite the opposite of her clever side. So they go to the car wash in the middle of November and wash out the inside of her Mazda, all the time her friend assuring her it would dry out quickly. I mean suds, and brushes, and the high pressure hose and everything. After all this WAS a car wash.. Now, it being late fall, it had begun to get chilly. On the way home, the drenched interior began to form ice crystals on the inside of the windshield. So, they both stuck their heads out the window and drove home.

Since this happened in Louisiana, you will know that a cool late fall leads to a hot humid winter, Isn't that the way seasons are everywhere? In a few days, the urinesickles melted and gave way to a most foul, hot, mildewy stench that would be her copilot for the rest of her Mazda driving days. Her badge of honor had evolved into something quite unhonorable. Luckily, she is a brat and was soon awarded a brand new Jeep from our parents.

Now, I leave you with a pic of one of our dual Badge moments in Canada in a hotel room. You will see we had the best intentions, but alas there was only one toilet. So, we simply fell to the floor in fits of laughter and waves of pee. It was a proud moment for us both. A good night of living and loving life, indeed.