Finally...summer

For us nine-fingered gals, summer don't come too soon.






It's mid JULY and the weather finally got summer-y. It is gorgeous outside. And now that buttholes have stopped being turned inside out and scissors are locked safely away......ahhhhhh. I feel like Kid Rock and Martha Stewart all rolled into one. Which actually is not a pretty picture in the physical sense, but in the dogmatic sense....nirvana. The creative domestications of Martha coupled with the stringy haired don't-give-a-crap-except-for-hanging-out- and- having-fun mantra of Mr. Rock. I'm a cow-boy, baybeeeeeee. I'm even thinking of adopting the whole fedora and Addidas velour pantsuit ala Kid. That man knows a thing or two about proper livin'.






Bing and Caroline hung out yesterday while Stumpy went and hung out on the lake with Kim at her resort house. Nice, real nice. I had to promise Bing I wouldn;t get in the water...he said I would catch MRSA and the rest of my stump would fall off. Well, I bold faced lied to him and said I wouldn't get in...even going as far to smuggle ziplocs out the house. It was awesome...floating int the sunshine with my double bagged hand. Ziplocs are awesome.

And yes, I did tell Bing after the fact. ;) He knows what he married into.

Gonna start Plumpkers on veggies today...I bet that little brat woon't like them. I hope she does. She is definitely getting bigger every day but is still SO tiny! I wish her wellness check was sooner that the end of this month. I want the doctor to tell me how great she's doing. ;) I know she is, but I do so love reaffirmation. I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it...people like me.

Oh, and per Sam...here are 7 things about my sweet, sweet Caroline you may or may not have known.

1. She burps like Barney from the Simpsons.

2. Her pinky toes are really long and have very happy exploratory minds of their own.

3. She loves saying her prayers at night...she gets beside her self. Especially when we sing " Amen".

4. She loves doggie kisses.

5. She LOVES Target.

6. She smells like boiled peanuts when she needs a bath.

7. When she is super happy...she sticks out her chin and smiles real big...gumming it up....so we have started calling her "Cheeky Monkey". So cute....it turns Popa into a bag of melted marshmellows every time.

Did you ever.......

Did you ever think there was more to life than being ridiculously good-looking?

Well, since my hand modeling career has gone down the toilet, I have new hopes in a little woman named Caroline.

For your pleasure.......

Blue Steel

We're currently working on "Magnum".

Arrrrrgh...me booty. I mean my finger.

So....first things first. Boudreaux is doing awesome!!! He cam out fit as a fiddle and doesn;t seem to mind that his butthole was literally turned inside out. The doc got the polyp and will get back to us next week about pathology results. We're not worried though. Booboo is doing great and we're so happy to have him back and taking glorious, shapely poops again.

Now....to the rest of the week. I still haven;t posted pics from Louisiana...I will soon.

Back to Wednesday...Boudreaux's surgery day.

It was a gorgeous day.....something we don't get much of these days. Of course, I was quietly freaking out about Booboo as I am want to do much of the time. Thanks, Moma, for that nifty personality trait. So...I tell Bing " Hey , I'm gonna go garden a bit...get my mind off things".

And it was working pretty good. The butterflies were aflutter, the phantom sun was happily shining and Astronaut Jones was very happily helping me weed in between snuggle sessions. The Man in Black loves him some snuggling.

After weeding around the garden beds, I decide to do a little " weed eating" of my own. So, I got my trusty dollar store scissors out and starting trimming up here and there. Now, if you know me...you know I am an excellent multi tasker.....in a very sloppy and clumsy way.

Inner monologue while snipping- " I hope Boudreaux is ok, my panties are going up my butt, I wonder if he will have to stay the... OWWWWWWW!!"

As I interruppt my own soliloquoy ( again, I cannot and will not succumb to speel check on my blog. I do not care if this bothers you) with my plaintive wail , I look down and see blood everywhere. Well, crap, I cut myself again....so, I get up and go inside to bandage my latest mishap ( graceful, I am not).

Bing and caroline met me at the back door....upon hearing my "ouch", Bing thought...." wonder what the clutz did now". At first he was smiling when he said "what happened?". My giggly retort of "haha...cut myself again" was not met with the usual sarcastic comment but rather a pallid look of horror and Bing saying " we need to go to the hospital".

Mr. Over-reactor, I thought. But it was bleeding quite a bit...so I thought, oh well, guess I should get a couple of stitches. I go upstairs and change while holding a whole roll of blood soaked paper towels. I come down and Bing and Caroline are ready for our field trip. I am still thinking this is hilarious...Bing not so much. He then says, "I think we should take this".

In his hand was a ziploc bag full of ice and a finger. My finger.

What? Not the whole thing, mind you...but enough to be like " what the hell??!!! you've got my finger in a bag!"

Well....long story made shorter.

1. They could not sew it back on.

2. I could not even look at it in the hospital. You know it's bad when it even grosses out the ER doctor and nurse. However, the dr did commend me for such a nice cleaver like cut.

3. No injury is more white trash than cutting your finger off. You never hear of some aristocrat slamming his finger off reaching for his upper crust in the top drawer.

4. Carting a baby around in WalmArt while buying Mcdonald's, baby formula, and Vicodin should be the penultimate acme of my white trash career. But I'm sure it will not be.

5. Sitting around the house with 1)a dog whose butthole was just turned inside out and has a purple bandage completely around his tail, 2) a giant rabbit ,3) another dog so terrified of fireworks that she is more hopped up than I am on drugs, falling down the stairs, and vomiting down Bing's shorts 4) a baby girl who has taken to random screeching cuz that's just real funny in baby world , 5) and a poor husband who helped me bury my finger outside and is still mourning the little digit.

Margaret said I should get attachments for my finger...a hook for scracthing and soemthing else a bit softer for sensitive skin.

Moma printed out a pic of my newly severed hand and cries every time she passes by the pic. Which makes you wonder why she printed it out in the first place. But that's like the kettle calling the pot black, I suppose. Or the crazy calling the crazy crazy.

When I was back home, Moma was so exicited cuz she was gonna get 50 ears of corn from a man down at the farmer's markert for 10 dollars.

" What you gonna do with 5o ears of corn???"

" Well, I don't know. But 50 ears of corn for 10 dollars? That's a good deal!"

Hmmmmm. Here's the pic of my hand and finger. the little black eyed pea thing on my hand is not in fact a pea but my finger before it was interred and sent back to heaven. notice the dirt under my little finger nail. It make me very happy to think of my dirty little finger flying around in the clouds, its little finger halo not quite straight.

R.I.P. Left Pointy Finger Tip.....

You fing-ed real good. Real Good.

Feb 1973-July 2008

God is Great

My sweet Boudreux is having surgery today. He has a rectal polyp that nees to be removed. He has had it for about 3 weeks now...he started bleeding from it pretty bad when we were down in Louisiana. Bing came back early...but it got better once Bing was home. The vet said we didn;t need to move up the surgery and Booboo was fine for the rest of the time. It was still good that Bing came home though, so he could watch Boudreaux more closely.
The polyp is kinda in a hard to reach spot...they're hoping they can get to it by just basically turning his rectum inside out. If not..he will have to have real surgery that invloves addominal cutting. I am praying that it doesn;t go to that. He is 10 years old and the patriarch of out family. We call him Grandpa. And Grandpa still has a lot of life in him...not many people can handle his energy on walks!!! Boudreaux was even here before Bing was....and he was NOT happy when Bing arrived. He did not like sharing his Moma. But he has definitely grown to love his Popa.
Bridger is already acting pitiful today without Boudreaux....but she'll be OK. Hopefully he'll be home tonight....the vet said it all depended on the surgery...he may have to stay over night or even a couple of nights.
In the meantime, Caroline and I are gonna work in the backyard and get his favorite spot all ready for him to relax in.
PLease say a prayer for my sweet Boudreaux.

The More Fruit on the Hat, the Closer to God

Sorry it's been a while....it's been busy!!!!!!! Between dressing like " The Lady with the Fruit on the Hat/ or You Can Call Me Chiquita" , teaching and having fun with my little fmaily...I have been one busy lady.

PLumkpers is now a gang member. She's been ridin' dirty for a while with ADG. That would be Apple Dumplin' Gang to you folks not in the know. That little gang banger has been hitting the apple rice cereal hard these days. She just can't get enough. It makes her dealers quite proud.

She has really become a little person here lately. She used to have to "stand" on a Monet art book ( yes, she's very sophisticated...don't look her in the eye) to play in her exer-suacer...now her little feet touch the bottom!! she loves her exersuacer...she's figured how to really manipulate the little thingamajigs on it. It's really cute....

We just had our 8th anniversary! I'd like to say it was nice and quiet...but Plumpkin was probaly the grumpiest she has ever been on that very day. When I cam home from work that day, Bing said that if hadn't have been our anniversary, he would have had to leave and go sit in his little truck down the street and drink. haha....good times.

But she got over whatever that problem and has been quite the good girl...laughing and playing and eating that cereal like a champ.

3 MORE DAYS~!!!! yippeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am soooooooooooooooo excited!!! then off to Louisiana. Can't wait to have some warmth and sun. Have I mentioned lately that Washington is bleck? A Dio Mio. The sun did come out Sunday though...it was nice. We went for a drive...all piled up in the truck ( Jones stayed behind to watch the house). Picture it....two very grown adults and a baby in a bench seat small truck with two dog heads hanging out each side of the camper window. rainier was gorgeous....it's still my favorite thing about living up here ( a short list but a good list)

My 8th graders had their formal Friday. Those girls spent fortunes on their dresses. Below is a picture of my dress. There were 2 other middle schools at the dance.....my kids were explaining to those kids that "it's ok...that's Mrs. Smith...she's funny." And just like that...alll was right with the world. If only everything could be explained that easily.

Mr. Rogers for President 2008

one of my favorite stories ever was reading how Koko The Gorilla ( who used sign language) used to love to watch Mr. Rogers. Well, Mr. Rogers heard about it and wonderful man that he was, decided to pay her a visit. She often got jaded with regular visitors but when she saw Mr. Rogers she just started acting like his number one fan, hugging him and signing over and over' " Koko love Mr. ROgers, Koko love Mr. ROgers". He visited with her for a long while, talking and hugging each other.

I get teary just talking about it. Apparently Koko would talk about it till the day she died.

I love those two.



Plumpkin did a lot better eating cereal today. I sat her in her Bumbo and she actually kinda chewed and swallowed and DID NOT have a screaming fit. Sweet success.


We got fish for our pond today. We named them El Jefe, Orangina, D'arbonne, Punk Fish, and Boudreaux the Fish ( bot to be confused with Boudreaux the Dog, Alligator, or Bench). We put them in and they immediately disppeared. We haven;t seen them since. I'm guessing they're magic fish. Perhaps we should have named them Houdini, Siegfired, Roy, David Copperfield & Boudreaux the Magician.

The cover of the Seattle Times was "JUNE GLOOM"...they are forescasting this sucky weather for the rest of the month.



Luckily, I have a wonderful family or I would go on a shooting rampage. Louisiana in 18 days...sun and warmth, here we come!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hahaha...this picture is for Grit. hahahaha....we grew up having Moma read is "Berenstein Bears" among other things. Who doesn't love a family of bears living in a the best treehouse ever? I still have my late 70's copy of " Scratch and Sniff Berenstein Bears" . ( You don't actually smell the bears though, which was both good and bad.)That thing still smells!! It shows how papa makes a pizza and you can smell each ingredient. I keep it in my hope chest Bing made me...I still sniff it from time to time. Is that weird? The mushrooms and garlic are my favorite.

Anyway....margaret has this horrible phobia of people in mascot uniforms. She just freaks out. Well, one day we're at Books A Million...just perusing books. Imagine a well lit book store....light breezy pop music bopping in the back ground. Then you hear it.....

shuh...shuh...shuh...shuh..

what was that?

you keep walking.

shuh, shuh, shuh.....

getting closer. what is that noise?

SHUH, SHUH, SHUH, SHUH....

We turn around and there right uponst us is.....Mama Bernstein creeping stealthily up in all her giant mascot-costumed glory. Her teddy bear head the size of a small bathtub. Her big furry slipper feet shuh-shuh-shuh sounding like her own "Jaws" soundtrack.

Margaret jumped straight into the air and did that thing that Wily Coyote always did in mid air---- that running to stand still thing. In my mind she even said " Woomp-woomp-woomp" like Curly from the 3 Stooges.

Needless to say, I had to escort her out of the store. Leaving Moma Berenstein to fend for her own next victim. Shuh, shuh, shuh.........

Bing said Plumpkerstilskin got so tickled today. He said she was on her mat just kinda fussing for fussing sake. He went over to her and said " Pipe down, youngster!" APparently, this is the best baby joke ever. She cracked up and for about 30 minutes - a comedy routine of alternate Popa giggling and " Pipe down youngster" ensued.

The kids were exhausting today. 13 more days!!!! i can't wait for the end of school!!!!!

I love to watch the birds in the backyard. The hummingbirds remind me so much of caroline. So tiny, yet so fiesty.

I would like to smush a magnolia all over my face. I love that smell. And the little yellow things. I used to draw with the purple ends of them. I thought I was so avant-garde. ooh, look at me...I'm drawing with the reproductive parts of a plant. ooh la la. somebody call masur musuem.

I miss magnolias. I want Lady Bird to know all about them. One day!

Well, I'm off to see the Wizard......hasta luego.